Oh my! I don't know what to say. What an ordeal you have gone through. As I was reading i would see your comments on how others may see you. All I can say is "people who live in glass houses" If you have never been in a similar situation, you should not comment. I have just caught up with all the reading and can't wait to hear the rest. Love is a powerful thing, you have proven that.

Good luck and I will be back!

Jami

I can't stop reading! A fellow spacer gave me your link as I am struggling with a similar situation. I'm only to the November blogs so once I finishi the story I'll comment more. I'm so glad to know there are others out there who struggle with the same thing (passion, soul mates, do you follow your head or your heart?) Tiff

Hope this is ok, I saw your question regarding allergen free cat's on Must Love Dogs space. Unfortunately there's really no such thing, the allergens that cause you to react are not really the dander, but actually proteins in the cats' salavia that are so microscopic that they can actually embed themselves in the lining of your lungs and mucus membrains. Therefore, if a cat has saliva, you'll have the problems. Absynians (spl?) are the only cats who innately don't seem to have the quantity of these proteins that most cats do, but they are as you say $600 cats.
All is not lost yet, (I tend to educate first and advice after) Studies show that people have a tendancy to build up an immunity to their own pets, I agree w/ Mannyed about short haired cats, the slicker the fur the better. Upon adoption (please please adopt from your local shelter, spay/neuter and save a life) take kitty home and give a bath with a mild baby shampoo (the anti allergen shampoo's don't really work that much better and they cost more). Dry it as much as you can yourself, so it doesn't feel the need to lick it's self dry (although it will some, if it's dryer than not it will do so more for grooming than drying and you're trying to cut back on that.)
From there, see how long it takes for you to react. Hopefully you should be able to go a week or more, you don't want to over tax your system and send it into blatant warfare reaction so don't push to far, but you want to try and go a little longer each time (I don't recommend bathing a cat more than once every two weeks or more because it messes w/ the balance of their skin/fur)
For starters, keep the cat confined to an area where you can really really vacuum clean. You're going to always want to have a "clean room" like your bedroom where the cat is not allowed. When you pet or handle the cat, don't let it near your face and don't touch your face until you've washed your hands.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into an epic novel. I hope you found this helpful. :) Good luck.

hi there. i saw your question that you posted @ Must Love Dogs re: cats...I thought maybe I could share my "two cents". I adopted a cat about three months ago and have allergies myself. I went for a short haired cat and my allergies aren't so bad. I know people say there is no differences between a short haired cat and a long haired cat with respect to allergies, but my brother has a long haired cat and his kitty seems to make me sniffle and make my eyes water. I also notice that the more i spend time with my cat and my brother's cat, i become more tolerable, sniffling less, etc. Just thought I would give you some food for thought.

hey there
I love your stories. You are one of the few people who had their cake and ate it. You visited the grass on the other side, didnt work out, were lucky enough to go back to your side.
keep those blogs coming
rony

wow. Hi there. Loved stopping bye.
:)
Have a great day. And thanks for sharing!

LOVE your story and brutal honesty. I have a similar story that I continue to live out - only he lives across the country. I wish I had the guts to do what you've done.

Tammy

I am hooked on your story but I refuse to judge. I am not brave enough to confess some of my own sins or allow others in on my secrets so I would never cast any stones. Keep writing with your heart, do what's best for you, and don't worry about what others think. You are sharing your skeletons but some people are not trying to see the the rest of you...I've seen what you've written on other people's blogs. There's more to you than just the skeleton...

Hey Mary,

That is really sweet that you offered to be a surrogate for your friend. That really is the ultimate gift to give someone. I really hope that she can have one of her own - or maybe take you up on it.

Also I am just wondering how you are doing. I saw that you had commented on someone elses blog that you were a little down lately. I just wanted to give you a cyber hug. I also included my email in case you need a friend.

<<<<<hugs>>>>>

Tina

Hi Mary

Thanks for your comments...I've been following your story...and I can't even begin to think about how traumatic it's been for you...

Wanting someone you know for so long...never quite forgetting about them, even though you know you should...very tough choice.

Keep writing, as I'm sure it helps when you see and read it later...thanks for sharing your story!

Hi Mary,
I read your blog everyday and I think it's great. If people are putting you down, it's only because they are jealous that you had the courage to follow your heart, and they didn't. That takes a lot of guts. Some people live their whole lives with the could of, should of, would of attitude. You writing is awesome. Keep on with it girl, you rock!

Kerri

I appreciate your honesty. I wonder, though, why you must write this blog in secret. Surely you are now with the one you love, and part of love is honesty, right?
Either way I think your blogs are brutaly honest, and I love them!!!
As for that idiot that said you were a slut....he obviously didnt read all your blogs because through them you can tell that you are not one to just jump on anyone, you made love to these man with passion and love. The guy is just an ignorant A**!

Keep it up the great writing!

Anyone who can not see your anguish and heartache over your situation and ultimate decision must be blind.

Your writing is riveting, and honest, and REAL! I have so many skeletons and mistakes in my own closet, that I learned a very very long time ago not to judge anyone.

I have a feeling as to the outcome. I know that even if you gained, you also lost very big.

I like your blog. Good Lord, can you imagine what it would be like if we all just threw it out there so honestly like you did? I seriously doubt there would be any of us with a clean closet sans skeletons, that's for sure. I for one am definitely not volunteering!

Glad you liked my post today..... it's an interesting life I lead with Hubbie.... he always attracts some strange situations. We tease him that he's Larry on Curb Your Enthusiasm... he's really not that far off!

Friday... where are you?!

Love your story!

I see you have the haters here. Must be nice for them to live a perfect life and be able to have the authority to judge you when they have not, nor will they walk in your stilettos. You keep writing what's in your heart. We all make choices and WE are the ones that live with them everyday. Some good, some not so good, but my theory is this if you learned something from the not so good, they are not considered mistakes, just unwise choices. You ROCK and never, ever let anyone else tell you differently! Be Great! ~Kate

hi,
thank you for visiting my space, i love when people come and read and comment...so thank you. i am leaving my footprints in the sands of your guestbook today. but i will return when i have more time to read your blogs and find out about what you have decided to share. i look forward to getting to know you thru your blogs and your space and hope we can begin a cyber friendship. don't you just love this whole space/blog thing! so many people of so many different ages, lifestyles, etc all meeting and talking and finding out things we might not ever tell our closet real friends....it is indeed a special place.
i will return as promised.
i leave you with a reminder,
you are
i am
IN HIS MIGHTY GRIP
jc

Mary,

I truely enjoy your story and how you write. I think, well I would hope, for you, its healing to tell the story. I hope nothing but great happiness for you. You have gone through so much.

Keep writting! I will be back to see how everything plays out!!

Take care,
Enjoy the Journey!!
Katie

Hi, Mary -
Considering my parents' own marriage only lasted little over 6 years - my dad doesn't have much to say anymore about my life with B - 'course since I don't talk to him anymore, he doesn't have much to say about anything. LOL **

And guess what, my family in Taiwan, they love him - even though they can't understand a word that he's saying :)

HAve a good one.

AL

I think "what I see" was way harsh.....To wish such things, is to wish them on yourself...having said that...I have to say when I read your entries about "D" and Tom, I get a huge forboding lump in my stomach. What you had with Tom was comfort, secruity, compassion, understanding and yes love. I have found that "sparks" and "fire" burn out way to fast or tend to consume. What you had with Tom was a mature love. A relationship most would love to have. If an earlier entry...way back toward the beginning....is any proof to who you are with now...I do hope you are happy. To go through all that you have and not be happy is a shame. I wish you comfort and happiness.