I guess I haven’t really written lately and I know you have all been wondering what has been going on.  I haven’t written for a couple of reasons.  First because I don’t feel like being judged for the life I am leading right now.  I have been lying to my husband about my love for another man and I have been cheating on him.  I have become that person that meets her lover in the afternoon for a quickie, sneaks out at night with tales of shopping and pedicures to steal a few extra minutes with her lover.  I am ashamed of myself but I can’t seem to help myself.  I have come to the conclusion that I am leaving my husband and following my heart.  It has always been with D and it has always led me back to him.  I cannot deny what we have and I know that it will never go away.  The other decision I have made is that I will not ruin this Christmas for him or for my children.  They will wake up one last Christmas morning to both of their parents before we start a bitter fight about where they will be next year.  I am not looking forward to starting this process but I have given this a lot of thought and I know that I love D for all the right reasons. It is not just the sex.  It is everything he does for me, it is the way he looks at me, the promises he makes for our future.  It is the years that we have spent apart that leave a hole in my heart but I know that without those years apart  - I would not have my dear children that I love as much as any other mother loves her children.  For those of you that have said that I should stay with Tom for their sake, I think that is so unfair to put on my shoulders.  I would sacrifice my life for my children but I do not believe that this decision should be about that and that alone.  I know that D is a kind and caring man and I see how much he loves his daughter.  I believe that he will love and care for my children as his own and they will always have their father.  I would never not allow Tom to see them whenever he sees fit.  My children will not be the first to come from a home of divorced parents.  I think the kids that are harmed from broken homes are those that come from abusive homes or ones where one parent leaves and never comes back.  Our home will hopefully break up in a civilized way to where we will always be loving and caring parents to both of our children.  I believe that as long as we work together, we can make this transition as easy for them as possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I do not walk around with rose coloured glasses.  I know there will be harsh words, I know there will be anger, pain, tears and hateful exchanges but I also know that none of this will take place in front of our children. To them, we must always create a united front so that they are assured we love them and will always be there for them.

For those of you that were pulling for Tom, I apologize but I have to follow my heart and do what is right for me.  Yes, Tom is an amazing man, caring, loving, honest, sexy and all the things that a woman wants in a man. The only problem is I found him too late, my heart was already in someone else’s possession and I think he always knew that. So just think, now that amazing man has a chance to find a woman who will give him their unconditional love.  Thank you all for your comments and I am sure this post will generate some on both sides of the fence.  I will try to update more often.